Since losing my wife, I have felt so lonely and don’t know what to do about it. I miss not having someone to talk to and to tell them all about your day and to share your future with.
I have always been a private person. Keeping myself to myself. An honest hard working man who values life so much.
When I first met Francine, we were at a party, she too was studying. History was her subject. She had many friends and they were always talking and laughing together. I had just finished my last portrait when Francine enquired about having her portrait painted for her birthday. I was a bit nervous as I hadn’t painted that many at this stage. She gave me her address and we arranged to meet at her house to discuss it.
The following week I met her parents and her father spoke to me about my painting. He then showed me some of the artwork he had bought over the years. I was very impressed and he even had some of my favourite artists hanging on his wall.
We agreed on a price and I would return here each week to make some sketches. While I was here I was also invited to dine with them. As time passed myself and Francine got to know each other very well. It was not an instant thing with her. Yes, she was very nice and a very good looking woman, but there was no instant chemistry between us. That was fine as I was in no rush and neither was she and over the course of a year, we were a couple.
I proposed and the wedding was planned by Francine’s Family and was to be held at their house. My parents arrived and stayed in a small dwelling that they had on the same grounds. The wedding went ahead and afterwards we move into our own place. We had a maid that helped us and Francine and her mother picked some new furniture for it.
A few months had passed and we were getting used to married life when Francine became ill and fainted one day. The doctor was called out and we discovered the news that we were to be parents. We hadn’t planned on having a child so soon, but a boy or girl was on its way and now we had a nursery to prepare.
One night Francine was in terrible pain, she was walking up and down trying to get it to ease off. Her mother came and then the doctor. He told her that the baby was on the way. I wanted to be with her but was told to keep busy. I did as they said and went downstairs. A few hours passed and still, there was no sign of our baby. Then I heard a scream and then a cry. The cry was the baby. I ran upstairs and the doctor told me we had a healthy baby boy. Francine was pale but she was okay and I gave her a kiss. We discussed names many times and finally agreed that he would be called Christophe after my father. It was also my middle name.
We were overjoyed with how life was at the moment then tragedy struck. There were a few complications at the birth and Francine had lost a lot of blood. She also had a fever now. I did think she would pull through, but the fever got worse and then in the early hours of the morning she sadly passed away. I didn’t want anyone to be near her. I spent an hour talking to her and telling her how much I loved her. As I left the room I passed her parents on the stairs and then I made my way outside to get some air. With my eyes full of tears I started to pray.
“Dear God, please heal my heart. I have just lost my wife, the mother of our child. “I do not know what to do.” “Please help me in my hour of need so that I have the strength to keep going for myself and my son.”
On my return, the nanny had Christophe in her arms.
“Here Lawrence, take him.”
“I don’t think I can.”
“Yes you can, he needs you and you need him.” It is what Francine would have wanted.” “While you are loving him you are loving her also.”
I nodded and she passed him to me. I hugged and kissed him and told him that I would always take care of him. I took him upstairs, laid him in his crib and then closed the door.
A letter arrived for me, it was an invitation to go to study painting in London. I had put it out of my mind. I had applied before we got married and with the wedding and the baby on the way, I had forgotten about it. I dismissed it as it didn’t feel right to go and also who would take care of Christophe. I told my father in law about the letter and he was very understanding. He knew that I was torn, but reassured me that whatever decision I made, they would support me and that Christophe would be well looked after. He said that I had waited for this opportunity for so long and at the end of the day only I could make the choice to either go or stay.
After careful consideration, I called everyone together and announced that I would be leaving to take up studying painting in London. I told them that Christophe would stay here and I would come back when I could. Hopefully, in the future, I could return full time to be reunited with my child and family.